Really Messed Up Adults or Just Messed Up

Hey, thanks for starting this first episode in the series, “Some Adults in Your Life are Really Messed Up.”

The script is available as a blog post at GoodMentalSoil.com

I’m sure you’ve noticed that some adults in your life ARE really messed up.

Ever wonder why?

Or, why they treat you the way they do?

Or, why you react the way you do?

Or, why you might become just like them?

This series will help you:

recognize their crap when it’s thrown at you,

understand what’s probably going on inside of their head, and

understand what’s probably going on inside of your head.

You need to know this stuff if you stand a chance against the really messed up adults in your life.

Before I get to the main content of this video, I need to cover three things.

The first, as you’ve already noticed, I’m not a flashy guy. In fact, this IS my happy face… and this IS me being excited.

The second, this series is for educational purposes only. I’m not providing you with counseling.

My views are my personal opinions based on my experiences.

If you find them helpful…Great! If not, ignore them completely.

The third, as you learn more about the really messed up adults in your life, you might think, Okay…Wow… Hmmm,

that makes a lot of sense.

Or you might think…What the crap?

What the crap!!!

These are valid responses along with a whole range in between.

I encourage you to lean as much as possible toward understanding…and not reacting.

That said, in future videos I’ll talk more about why we often react the way we do.

Have you ever wondered how a really messed up adult in YOUR life got that way?

Here’s a hint: Look for the really messed up adults who were in THEIR life when they were growing up.

What YOU see in them NOW, is probably what THEY saw back THEN.

Now don’t get me wrong,

I’m not saying that understanding the reasons WHY they do what they do in any way justifies WHAT they do.

While reasons are important for understanding,

they are never a justification for passing pain from one person to another.

My goal for you in this series is for you to *NOT* become just like the really messed up adults in your life!

If you do, you will live a life like theirs.

You will have relationships and marriages like theirs.

And you will relate to your children like they do to you.

You might think, “That could never happen to me,” but what is modeled TO you, can easily become part OF you.

You can subconsciously absorb their ways of thinking and acting because it’s what you see day in and day out.

The good news is that you can be the one to break the cycle! You don’t have to become like them.

So, what do I mean by “really messed up adults?”

When I say, “really messed up, adults,” I’m not talking about “messed up” in the way I am,

and in the way most everyone I know is.

Most of us are just trying to figure out life as it comes.

I have my goals, needs, desires, and dreams…

along with my anxieties, fears, disappointments, and wounds.

When I say, “really messed up adults,” I mean the aggressors

who criticize and condemn everybody and everything…

except themselves.

Nothing anyone does is right,

and even if it IS right… according to them it wasn’t done the right way.

If you try to explain a different view,

their wrath is on you quicker than their next heartbeat.

Now, if you *ARE* one of those really messed up adults,

And you only want what you want when you want it,

and you don’t care how much it hurts anybody else…

or how fulfilled others are in their relationship with you…

this series isn’t for you… it’s *about* you…

Now, if you’re one of those people who *think* you’re already really messed up… there’s hope.

This series can help you rethink your strategies for emotional protection and survival.

It can help you understand your wounds and learn more effective ways to fulfill your needs and desires.

It can help you build “give and receive” relationships that are mutually satisfying.

You’ve probably heard that relationships are “give and take.”

I don’t like the phrase “give and take” because one person can end up taking more than the other intended to give.

“Give and receive” is far healthier.

Also, if you want your relationships to last,

It’s important that they are mutually satisfying.

Really messed up adults are all about having satisfying relationships.

They’re just not real big on the “mutually” part.

When someone stops giving them what they want when they want it,

they discard that person like a used tissue.

Main Points are:

What is modeled TO you, can easily become part OF you.

Really messed up adults are the aggressors who criticize and condemn everybody and everything…except themselves.

If you’re one of those people who think you’re already really messed up… there’s hope.

And, it’s best to build give and receive relationships that are mutually satisfying.

So, have you ever wondered where these really messed up adults come from?

We’ll talk about that in the next video.

Thanks for watching…and remember,

When really messed up adults throw their crap at you, try to respond…not react.

We’ll talk more about why we react and tools for responding in future videos.

One last thing, at times life can be really difficult.

If you or others you know are struggling with feelings of harming yourself or someone else,

I have some resources listed on how to get help at my website, GoodMentalSoil.com.

These include the national 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline that you can reach by either dialing or texting 988.

Regardless of how you may feel about yourself at any given moment, your life is precious.

You ARE worth it.

You’re the reason I’m doing this.